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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28774536">heart</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheDeviantSentByJericho/pseuds/TheDeviantSentByJericho'>TheDeviantSentByJericho</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Sanders Sides (Web Series)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, But also, But only by a little, Comfort, Cookies, Could be read as romantic ig, Deceit | Janus Sanders is a Good Friend, Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Family Feels, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Happy Birthday Patton, Hurt/Comfort, I'm Sorry, Janus And Virgil Work Through Their Shit, Kinda, Love, Morality | Patton Sanders Angst, Morality | Patton Sanders Needs a Hug, Morality | Patton Sanders-centric, Movie Night, Platonic Moxiety, Post-Episode: Putting Others First - Selfishness v. Selflessness Redux | Sanders Sides, Remus is there at the end but he doesn't have any dialogue, all their relationships were intended as platonic, because i can't write him, but they trust him enough, but up to you, for your gift i give you hurt, so they're still pretty on edge around janus</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 06:29:03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,108</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28774536</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheDeviantSentByJericho/pseuds/TheDeviantSentByJericho</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>They said it was okay to be sad sometimes. But what about when it was sad <i>all</i> the time?</p><p>They said it was okay to ask for help. But what about when the words just wouldn't come?</p><p> </p><p>Patton is sad.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Anxiety | Virgil &amp; Creativity | Roman &amp; Logic | Logan &amp; Morality | Patton, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders &amp; Deceit | Janus Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders &amp; Logic | Logan Sanders &amp; Morality | Patton Sanders, Logic | Logan Sanders &amp; Morality | Patton Sanders, Morality | Patton Sanders &amp; Everyone</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>59</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>heart</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>it's his birthday, you know what that means</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Positivity was Patton's job.</p><p>Literally.</p><p>But most of the time he was feeling pretty far from it himself. </p><p>It didn't make sense! All the others were <i>intensified</i> parts of Thomas! Virgil's anxiety was crippling, Roman's creativity explosive, Remus entire existence was proof of how Not-Thomas the sides could be. </p><p>But him?</p><p>He didn't feel happy. Not ever. Not for longer than a fleeting moment. </p><p>Sorrow had wrapped its wings around him and it wasn't letting go anytime soon. Patton tried to dislodge it with smiles and puns and helping the others even when it felt like his body would collapse under the weight of the exhausted, numb agony.</p><p>Warm blankets covered him, pulled up over his head as he curled himself into a tight ball. He would not cry he would not cry he could not cry come <i>on</i> Patton you're better than this you're fine what are you even whining about? You have <i>everything.</i></p><p>Patton whimpered and curled up tighter.</p><p> </p><p>He didn't realize he'd fallen asleep until he woke up, light streaming through the thin blanket- he was on top of the duvet- and voices in the hall, low and worried. <i>Oh no.</i> He must have missed breakfast, and Patton was the one who always made it! It was his responsibility, to take care of them, and he'd failed. Again. </p><p>The weary grief coiled painfully in Patton's gut. </p><p>Getting up, the voices stopped. Opening the door showed the other three 'main Sides' standing anxiously around the entryway. Logan had a hold of Virgil, who looked panicky and on the virge (dad joke) of breaking in himself. They all look startled to see him. "Padre! Finally! We were worried when you didn't come down for breakfast!" said Roman, Virgil nodding sleepishly while rubbing himself down.</p><p>Forcing a smile, Patton laughed. "Sorry kiddos, must have been tired! Thanks for waking me up- I'll go get something started for you all," He tried to brush past them, the keen ache in his chest growing and threatening to burst through him again, but a hand reached out, grabbed him around the arm, tugged, pleading. </p><p>"You're scared," Virgil said. "You're scared of us. Of us leaving you."</p><p>Patton paused. "I-" </p><p>"We're not going to leave you, Pat. We're not going to hate you. Not ever." his voice was low, hoarse, vulnerable. </p><p>"Why would you think that, Patton?" Logan frowned.</p><p>"We love you!" Roman chimed in.</p><p>"I- I know! And I love you too, so much!" It was a desperate effort to keep the smile on his face realistic. </p><p>"Patton, there is no need to worry about feeding us," Logan said, attempting to help. "We're perfectly capable of managing on our own." </p><p>That hit like a punch in the gut. "I know..." Patton said, tears welling in his eyes. He blinked to push them down. "I know you don't need me," </p><p>Virgil recoiled like Patton had hit him. <i><b>"What‽"</b></i> All the Sides said in unison. "That is <i>not</i> what I meant!" Even Logan looked upset. "How dare you say such a thing about yourself?" Roman asked. </p><p>Patton turned away, none of his efforts working to stem the flow of tears. "I'm sorry," he mumbled. How had it turned into this?</p><p>"Patton, of course we need you! And even if we didn't, we still <i>want</i> you," Virgil said, "That sounds weird, but you get it, right? We want you to be happy, we need you to be healthy, we <i>don't</i> need you to push yourself into the ground for us! Hate to say it, but <b>he</b> was right. You have a habit of putting others' wants over your needs and it's <i>killing you</i>."</p><p>"I'm not dying! I'm fine!"</p><p>A new voice came from behind them.</p><p> </p><p>"Oh Patton, I thought lying was wrong?"</p><p> </p><p>Janus leaned against the wall, examining his gloves. "Janus," Virgil said cooly. "What are you doing here?"</p><p>He raised an eyebrow. "With all the <i>delicious</i> lies our dear Patton was telling, where else would I be?" </p><p>"Well, you can get your scally snitties out of here this instant before I <i>make</i> you!" Roman's hand hovered over his sword, and Janus didn't look the slightest bit threatened. "Sure, if that's your thing," he dismissed, "But what if I could help?"</p><p>"Help? You?" Roman scoffed, but the others were eyeing Janus. "He is the self-care snake," Virgil muttered, "And he has an annoying way of getting inside your head and doing whatever he wants with it," </p><p>"Thanks for the compliment, Virgil," Janus said, completely deadpan.</p><p>Virgil hissed in return.</p><p>"Boys," Logan and Patton warned simultaneously. They glanced at each other and smiled slightly, but Logan's face shifted back to a thoughtful frown in an instant. "Janus, what would you advise?"</p><p>Janus looked as if someone had given him the most wonderful gift in the world. "It seems to me that the problem is that dear dad is repressing again for fear of hurting you, would I be correct, Patton?" </p><p>Hhh. Nod.</p><p>"So that's what we have to do!" Janus clapped his hands together. "Roman and Logan, why don't you go make some breakfast? Whatever he enjoys the most. And Patton, what do you usually do when the others are doing this themselves?"</p><p>Patton was lost. He didn't know what to do or say they were making it about Him why were they doing that why were they pretending to care? "Movie night," he muttered at last, almost on autopilot. "Cuddles,"</p><p>"Virgil, would you like to get that set up?"</p><p>"Sure thing, self-care snake," He saluted and grabbed Patton by the arm again. Janus moved to leave, but Virgil turned and called him back. "Wait, Janny?"</p><p>A sincere pause. "You haven't called me that in <i>years</i> Vee,"</p><p>"Yeah I know. Don't get too worked up about it, just wanted to invite you to join us."</p><p>"Why would <i>you</i> invite <i>me</i>?"</p><p>"'s thanks. Besides," He looked apprehensive. "I haven't been the best to you recently. I missed you."</p><p>"Oh."</p><p>"Well?"</p><p>"I'd be glad to join you."</p><p> </p><p>They curled up on and around the couch, all wrapping themselves around Patton (except Remus, who was upside down a few meters away). Blankets and pillows and stuffed animals surrounded them all, and platters of cookies lay on the coffee table, just out of reach of Roman's feet. </p><p>"Guys?" Patton asked, and they all turned away from the movie to look directly at him, even Remus.  He gulped, but continued. "I love you guys. So much."</p><p>"We love you too, Patton." said Logan. "So much." Roman and Virgil agreed.</p><p>Against himself, Patton looked at Janus, who smiled, shook his head. "It's true," he murmured quietly.</p><p>And Patton began to cry.</p>
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